Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
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What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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