HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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