Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
