Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
