Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
