wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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