I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
