I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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