I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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