How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
