I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
