I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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