so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
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Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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