Whod you bang
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...