Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.