you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
