Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.