i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
