I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize