yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
