come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
