I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
