then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
