my vag is so smooth its legendary
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
