You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
