I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
