Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
