Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
