i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
