Do you still have your period?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
