I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
