Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
