So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
