This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We got so high we made milksteak
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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