It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
