wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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