wrigley field is MILF paradise
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
