At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
