I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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