I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think my moral compass just broke
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
