dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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