your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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