we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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