Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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