i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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