Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
