oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
