I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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