she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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