So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
