Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.