Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM