Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What changed your mind?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."