I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
