I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
