So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
