Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
