Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
