just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
