Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I am morally bankrupt
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
