Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
